No More Excuses

Has it really been 7 months since I last posted here? I mean is that right? Why is it that I'm always able to stay motivated, so strongly motivated... for like a day? And then it's gone. And then 2 months later, I weigh the same and I wonder where the time has gone and how come nothing has changed.

I haven't seen my trainer in almost 4 weeks. We have a tough schedule and it's hard to match up. But that doesn't mean that I can't take what he's taught me and run with it. I'm still a member of the gym. I have all of the tools right there in front of me.

Part of my problem is that I stopped using the Herbalife products, and in doing so, my energy levels have plummetted. I got busy with my dogs, with their training, I got busy with life. And I just quit. I quit everything.

On a positive note, I noticed that I am down nearly 10lbs since I last posted a weight here. That's pretty awesome. But at the same time, it's a little disappointing to discover that it's taken me 7 months to lose just 10 pounds. If I had stuck with my goals and my plan, I could be down 50lbs by now.

I'm in the beginning stages of a new competition with a few of my friends. We are putting $5 each into a weekly pool, and the person with the highest percentage lost gets the pool. It's a big deal, winning $20 a week will pay for my monthly gym membership and my Herbalife products! But I have to win to get the pool. And I have to workout and eat smart in order to win!

I made a decision today. I haven't used Herbalife products in a few months. And I can completely tell the difference. I can feel it. I don't have that awesome, unstoppable energy that the products used to give me. Which in turn makes me lazy and I dont want to workout.

I'm going shopping today. There's an incredible sale that even a shopping loather like myself can't pass up. Buy one sweater get 2 free. Buy one pair of shoes or boots, get 2 free! But I want to look sexy in a sweater! Like I used to!

So I went to one of my favorite shopping sites, VS, and pulled some of my favorite photos. I looked like this once, I can do it again! Dammit! They are my motivation now.

Understand, I don't strive to look like this. My body isn't built that way and I know that. But this is how I used to feel. When I knew I was in perfect shape and beautiful, I felt like I looked better than these women. And that's what I'm trying to get back. My own self confidence. Not these bodies. Just the confidence that comes with being in shape.

Em

In a Hurry

I've been in a hurry the last 32 hours or so. I failed to post a food journal yesterday. And I deeply apologize. But the only person that that will hurt is me. I am also no longer posting times, because I dont really think it matters. I rarely eat after 7pm as it is so I think I'm doing just fine.
I did hit the gym last night however, and I got in a killer hour with an Arc Trainer. Pain in the ass machine is what it is. It's supposed to simulate running without the joint pounding. But it really doesnt. Its a fantastic cardio workout. But I dont like whoever built it.
You know how when you walk or run, your right arm for instance will spring out with your left leg, and your left arm will spring out with your right leg? Yeah, no, the guy or gal who invented this contraption chose not to do it that way. Maybe it was on purpose to make it harder. But your right arm swings with your right leg. Try walking or running that way.

I have a date with my disc dog tonight. My bait bag came in the mail (yeah!) last night and tonight we are going to get some disc trick training in. I anticipate that she will run me ragged. But I knew that would be the case when I signed up to own a herding dog.

~Love Em~

3/20 Food/Fitness Journal

Breakfast:
Glass of Orange Juice (no pulp) Thats right, I said no pulp!
Coffee Black
Dont give me any guff, I was in a hurry, okay? Having multiple dogs will do that to a person once and a while.

Lunch:
Herbalife Meal Shake
Banana

Snack:
Small Orange

3/18 Food/Fitness Journal

Breakfast: 6:48am
Herbalife Meal Shake

**Brisk 10min walk on break: 10:20am

No Snack (no time!)

Lunch: 1:12pm
Herbalife Meal Shake
Herbalife Hot Tea
Apple

Snack: 3:30ishpm
Herbalife Hot Tea

**5:15pm ~ Workout with PT.

Dinner: 6:45pm
Steamed Peas
Hardboiled Egg
(Not hungry tonight for some reason)

Explaination

Wow, I rarely post multiple blog posts in one day. But I feel like I am getting a little ahead of myself.
I feel the need to explain the motivational list on the right side bar of my blog.

I decided that for motivational purposes, I should write a list of reasons for me to eat healthier, exercise more, and essentially, lose weight and tone up. Enjoy.

#1~ Beat "Her". There is a woman that I know who has made it her life's mission to be better than me at everything. If I buy something, she buys it bigger and better. If I do something, she does it bigger and better. She's joining me on a particular crusade down the line in 2009, and I plan on winning this time around. Side by side we will start. But I will finish first.
#2~ Disc/Agility Handler. I have a dog who I want to compete with in disc and agility. I am a 'heavy handler' and I dont care for it. A dog can only be as good as it's handler, right? My weight and fitness level is holding her back. That needs to change. A 4 minute game of tug with a dog shouldn't have me panting and sweating. Even if the dog happens to be an Aussie.
#3~ Hunting Trip. I have been invited on a normally all guys hunting trip for the upcoming season. I will be the only woman on this trip. How cool would it be to also be the hottest person on the trip? The lightest person on the trip? I will be sharing a cabin with these guys. Eating meals with these guys. If I'm already being seen as "one of the guys", I might as well be hot, too, right?
#4~ Seeing JDS. Okay, this one is purely a greedy, personal challenge for me. I will be seeing an ex soon at an event. JD and I had an interesting relationship that I really can't expand on except to say that it was a bitter battle the entire 2 years we were together, and while I may be strong, he was still able control and take over most of the time. We have gone to great lengths these past 5 years to not bump into each other. But, because of a weird friend/family connection, seeing him at this event is inevitable. And it's going to be a long evening event that will put us back together in the same room for 8+ hours. So I need to knock his socks off, for my own peace of mind. I've already made him regret pushing me around for too long. But I have yet to make his jaw drop.
#5~ Triathlon. You all know I registered for this sprint length triathlon. Well, I need to bust some ass in this race! I dont plan on coming in last! I dont plan on struggling through the entire thing. I plan on shocking people. So I gotta get fit.
#6~ And of course, last but certainly not least, my health. This is the most important reason why I need to lose weight. I dont want diabetes. I dont want heart disease. I dont want weak, achey joints for the rest of my life soley because I dont have the willpower to lay off the Twinkies. The road I am headed down right now, well.. Its not a pretty one. Its full of doctor visits and terror.

These are the reasons that I am keeping in front of my face at all times. These are the things that are going to make it easy to choose the gym instead of the couch. These are the things that are going to make it easy to bring my lunch instead of hitting a drive through. These are the things that are going to save my life.
~Love Em~

The Loss & The Temptations

I'm not going to take any stock in the 2.6lbs that I've apparently lost in the last 48 hours. I'm just going to chock it up to awareness of what I'm putting in my body.
Did you know that for St Patricks day yesterday that there was a lunch room full of green cupcakes, cookies and cinnamon rolls? And that flourey, sugary foods are my weakness? And that green is my favorite color? Oh, well that last tidbit probably doesn't matter too much.. Except that the cupcakes were green.
But I just want to point out that I didn't have one. Not a single taste of anything in the lunch room. I even spent my lunch hour in that lunch room, reading my book and sipping on my shake, 3 feet away from the goodies and not even craving them a bit.
I resisted major temptation. I think it's a step in the right direction. Maybe I can chose the right path this time around. Maybe?
~Love Em~

Rounding on Myself

I am ashamed of some of the things I thought of myself the other day. My weight shouldn't change who I am. I'm a confident person. Or at least I was. Did you know that when you realize how heavy you are that your confidence can literally shoot right out the door?
I have always prided myself on eye contact. On the comfort I have in meeting and talking to new people. But yesterday I couldn't hardly look somebody in the eye because I felt like they were judging me.

How rediculous is that!

I've always believed that plus sized people who have a lot of confidence are sexy. They don't let their weight stand in their way. And people don't see them as overweight, they view them as fun, sexy, confident people!

So I'm over my problem. At least for now. I have my revelation photos tacked up. But now when I look at them I'm no longer revolted or ashamed. I put up a photo of myself only 3 years ago when I was 75lbs lighter. Now I have a goal.

They are just photos. This is my life.

I am a strong woman. I have battled cattle and horses for half of my life. I may be overweight, but I'm also strong as an ox. I have a lot going for me right now. I have a good, steady job. I have a beautiful little home. I have a tightly knit, loving family and easy going, fun loving friends. I have animals who trust and love me. I'm a part of some fabulous groups who accepted me as I was.

The only person judging me is me. And what I think of myself isn't what other people think of me. I need to give everybody else a little more credit.

Last night I watched The Biggest Loser contestants all run 13 miles. Half a marathon. Half of a freakin marathon! You wanna talk about inspiration? That was it. If they can do it, why can't I?

~Love Em~